Failing to deposit school dues for her grandson Irfan, Baaga says he had to leave his studies midway.

“Meager earnings hardly satisfy our needs. Since I was not able to pay school dues, manage uniform and books for my grandson, he got annoyed and one day left his home. I tried hard to convince him but all efforts turned useless. Now he assists a baker in the neighbourhood and lives with that family,” says Baaga.

“What more can I do at this age…?” she asked.

Mother of two sons and a daughter, Baaga’s one son disappeared in the custody of troops while the other, Ghulam Rasool got killed in “cross-firing.”

Rasool, a carpet weaver, was killed at Panzgam village. She says she doesn’t remember the date of his death.

A year later, Baaga said another son, Fayaz Ahmad Shah, who ran a shop at Sopore, was picked up by the Army. Since then nothing is known about him.

“He was picked up by the Army while he was on his shop, we tried hard to trace his whereabouts but couldn’t locate him,” the woman told etala’at.

Describing herself an “unfortunate mother,” Baaga said that she had never imagined that life would have such traumas in store for her.

“Life becomes more painful when I fail to fulfill the needs and requirements of my family especially the grandchildren. Sometimes I literally beg for them. What can a person do when there is nothing to feed the belly? That situation often drives me to madness. A thought of committing suicide captures my mind off and on,” she said, leaving the rest to be conveyed by her tears.

http://etalaat.net/english/?p=868